Dining Etiquette in Italy: Do’s and Don’ts For Travelers

Food is an essential part of Italian culture. There are local customs and unwritten rules that everyone should keep in mind when visiting restaurants and dining with others. That’s where this guide comes in, ready to show you everything you need to know about dining etiquette in Italy.

We’ll cover how to address your Italian friends and servers appropriately, some common Italian food rules, how to make reservations, and so much more. So, if you want to learn how to wine and dine like a local, keep reading; we’ve got you covered.

The Three Main Types of Eat-In Establishments

There are three primary eat-in establishments where you can dine in Italy, which tend to be open for lunch and dinner services. Each has unique features, caters to different people and budgets, and has some expectations of how guests should behave. Here are a few very general guidelines and fundamental differences between them.

Trattoria

A trattoria is considered an entry-level Italian restaurant with table service. They’re more casual establishments where you’ll usually find paper tablecloths, unbound menus, and simple plating of the dishes. Typically, they serve traditional dishes based on the local area at affordable prices.

When you’re eating at a trattoria, it’s unusual to act very formally. These are local haunts popular with locals and the service is generally friendly and informal.

Osteria

An osteria is slightly fancier than the trattoria and is considered more mid-level dining. Expect fancier table settings and tableware with more formal waitstaff. Despite their mid-level status, the term osteria can be used quite loosely. In fact, one of Italy’s most famous restaurants is a three-star Michelin establishment called Osteria Francescana, which is considered quite luxurious.

While an osteria is a bit more proper than a trattoria, you still don’t need to conduct yourself in an overly formal way. It’s still a good place to relax over a casual meal.

Ristorante

The last of the three eat-in establishments is by far the most fancy. A ristorante is where you’ll find classic white tablecloths and servers wearing formal attire. Prices are higher, but that comes with enhanced service or even professional sommeliers to help pair wine with your meal.

When eating at a ristorante, the atmosphere is more formal. The waitstaff will certainly be friendly and offer incredible service, but are unlikely to pause for extended conversation.

Guidelines on Italian Dining Etiquette

Now that you know the different types of places you’ll find, there are some other things to help make dining in Italy that much simpler.

Here are some key areas to focus on, from how to address servers and guests to utensil etiquette and more:

Addressing People

First up, let’s talk about addressing those around you, whether that be staff or other Italian diners. Before your vacation even starts, it’s always a good idea to learn some Italian – a few basic Italian phrases can go a long way. That said, here are a few tips to get you started.

• Always be friendly to the person taking your order. No matter how comfortable you feel on vacation, your priority should be remaining polite to everyone. They aren’t just your servers; they’re people, too.
• In Italian, there are formal and informal ways of addressing someone. The word lei, which also means “her” or “she,” is used to address people formally. The informal word is tu, but if you’re unsure, it’s always best to use lei.
• Use formal greetings, like Mi scusi, meaning “Excuse me,” when meeting someone for the first time, speaking to your server, or addressing someone older. This is just seen as more respectful. When addressing someone informally, usually younger people, you can use Scusa.
• When starting a conversation, you can say Buongiorno, meaning “Hello,” or Mi scusi. Always do this before you ask for something or start ordering your meal.
• Make a toast before the meal by saying Salute or “Cheers.” Also, keep eye contact and smile so everyone starts the meal on a positive note.

Ordering in Restaurants

Once you’ve been seated at your table and you’ve been acquainted with your server, you can start ordering your meal.

Here are some of the most important do’s and don’ts about ordering and Italian food etiquette:

• Be polite when getting someone’s attention. When you’re ready to order, you can say something like Mi scusi, vorrei ordinare, which means, “Excuse me, I’d like to order.” You could also say pottrei ordinare, meaning “Could I order?”
• Italian menus have multiple courses. There are three savory courses before you get to dessert. The first course is the antipasto or “appetizer.” Then you have the starch course, the primo, which is usually something like pasta or arancini, “rice balls”. Finally, you have the main dish called secondo.
• Most Italian restaurants don’t serve sides with the main dish – you usually just order the main protein. There is a separate list of contorni, or side dishes, that can be added to the meal.
• Don’t ask to split three of your courses between each other, as this isn’t appreciated. Instead, split two out of the three, like the antipasto and the primo, and each person can have their own secondo. For example, if you’re eating with one other person, you can tell the server you’d like to split the appetizer and order one primo and one main course. That way, you can share by passing the plates back and forth or asking for some side plates.
• Remember the cheese clue. This is a visual clue that lets you know whether to ask for extra cheese or not. If your pasta dish arrives with a light dusting of cheese, you’re good to go. That means the chef used some when preparing the dish, and you’re welcome to add more. If the dish has a sprig of parsley or another herb on top, then rather don’t ask.
• You are still welcome to ask for extra cheese, but you may receive quizzical looks. Just remember to never put cheese on seafood.
• If you’ve booked a table, it will be yours for the entire seating period. Servers generally expect you to eat a good amount of food, so come ready to eat.

Enjoying Bread

Most restaurants will have a bowl of fresh bread for you once you arrive at your table. This is typically served for you to enjoy with your other courses, so it doesn’t come with any butter or olive oil. That said, some more touristy locations may offer a bowl of seasoned olive oil for dipping.

However, you should definitely do “fare la scarpetta.” This is a common practice of using the bread to clean the plate and soak up all of those incredible sauces left by your meals. This is highly encouraged.

Italian Table Manners and Utensil Etiquette

So, you have your food in front of you… now what? Utensil etiquette is important, especially at higher-end restaurants, so you’ll need to make sure you’ve nailed the proper handling.

Here are a few things to remember:

• One common misconception is that you should use a spoon when eating pasta. This is a no-go! The proper technique for eating pasta is simply to twirl it around your fork.
• Hold your wine glass by the stem, not by the bowl. It’s not just to look classier, but it also prevents the warmth of your hands from heating the wine up too quickly.
• If you’re right-handed, keep your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right. Unlike some countries, you’ll eat with your left hand. It isn’t common to switch utensils between hands when eating or cutting food. Left-handed people will do this in reverse.
• When the meal is finished, lay the knife and fork next to each other on the right side of the plate with the fork tines facing down. If you lay your cutlery on opposite sides, it’s a sign you aren’t finished yet.
• Note that if you leave your cutlery down for an extended period of time, your server may assume that you’ve finished eating and take that as a sign to clear the table.

Water

As much as we’d like to, we can’t live on wine. When dining out, you’ll undoubtedly want some water to help quench your thirst and wash everything down between meals.

Here are a few things you need to know about ordering water in Italian dining establishments:

• Most Italian restaurants don’t serve tap water. If you ask your server for tap water, they’ll likely say no. Instead, you’ll have to order bottled water. This can come in three different varieties: acqua naturale (still), acqua frizzante or acqua gassata (sparkling), or (in certain parts of the country) a water called leggermente, or “slightly” sparkling.
• While prices vary slightly, water can generally cost much less in Italy compared to other places. It can be priced anywhere between a few cents to €5. You’re very unlikely to spend €7 on a bottle of water unless it’s a tourist trap.

Asking for the Check / Bill

Now that you’ve enjoyed your first proper Italian meal, it’s time to pay the bill. Luckily, the process is very straightforward.

• Ask for the check. If you’ve been sitting down for a long time after eating and you still haven’t received the bill, you need to ask for it. In Italy, it’s considered rude to bring the bill to the table without diners having asked.
• When asking for the check, you can politely say Mi scusa, il conto, per favore, which roughly translates to, “Excuse me, the check, please.”
• Don’t feel like you’re being ignored by the wait staff. If you’re at the end of your meal and notice that your server isn’t hovering around, it’s because they’re treating you like a local. They’re expecting you to socialize for a bit longer and finish your drinks.

Tipping

Like most European restaurants, Italians don’t expect large tips. That said, you’re more than welcome to leave a tip. We already have a stellar guide on everything you need to know about tipping in Italy, so be sure to check that out for more.

Making Reservations

Before even starting your Italian dining experience, you’ll need to make a reservation at the restaurant you want to visit. Restaurants can get full very quickly, so if you want to guarantee your spot, you have to reserve a table well in advance. This is especially true at more famous establishments, like places near the Colosseum in Rome.

To avoid missing out, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Restaurants in the major tourist areas generally have websites where you can book online, which makes things much easier. Places outside the big cities might not. In that case, you can look up the restaurant’s telephone number and call them directly or see if they have a number for WhatsApp.
• Don’t worry if they ask to put a credit card down when booking. This is just to cover no-shows.
• If you can’t make it to a reservation, make sure you call ahead and cancel it.
• Always let the restaurant know if your dining party changes. If you book a table of 10, for example, and only four people show up, this can be frustrating for the kitchen. Restaurants decide how much food they need to prepare for the night based on the number of people included in reservations.
• When making a reservation, it’s also important to let the restaurant know how many adults there are versus children, as this affects how much food needs to be prepared.
• Some restaurants won’t let you book more than a month in advance, so it’s always good practice to phone ahead and ask.
• If you can’t get a reservation, you might be able to use this trick – it’s not a guarantee, but it’s worth a try. If you show up just as the restaurant opens for lunch or dinner, you can say something like, “I’m sorry, we don’t have a table, but we were hoping for a quick meal.” Sometimes they’ll be able to seat you just before someone else’s reservation, but will clarify that they’d need the table back at a certain time. That may give you a good hour or two.
• This trick works because restaurants tend to stagger their reservations and take a certain number at once, just so the kitchen isn’t flooded with orders.
• Most restaurants shut down between lunch and dinner, but there are some exceptions. However, any restaurant that runs service throughout the entire day may often target tourists instead of locals.

Wrapping Up Italian Dining Etiquette

So, there you have it – some general guidelines on Italian etiquette to learn before planning your next trip. While these practices may vary depending on the city you’re in or the type of establishment, they’ll definitely be handy. You’ll be dining like a local in no time.

Now that you know how to dine, the logical next step is to figure out what to eat. Check out these guides next for some ideas on what dishes to try across the gorgeous Bel Paese:

• Traditional Foods of Sicily
• Food to Try on the Amalfi Coast
• Must-try Foods of Naples
• Popular Italian Drinks

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